School avoidance can be a complex and worrying experience for families. While anxiety and neurodivergence are often discussed, trauma can also play a significant role in a child’s reluctance to attend school. Betsy De Thierry, a highly respected advocate in the SEND community, has spent years supporting children and families navigating these challenges, highlighting the importance of recognising the emotional roots of school refusal.
Trauma, whether linked to previous experiences at school, changes at home, or broader life events, can create a heightened sense of fear or stress around attending school. Children who have experienced trauma may feel unsafe, hyper-aware of potential threats, or simply overwhelmed by the demands of the school environment. This can manifest as refusal to go to school, physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches, or increased anxiety and withdrawal. Understanding this connection is essential for parents and educators in responding with empathy and appropriate support.
Betsy emphasises that early recognition and sensitive intervention are key. Collaborating with teachers, therapists, and advocates can help create a consistent, safe approach that addresses the child’s emotional needs as well as their educational requirements. By acknowledging trauma and its impact, families can take meaningful steps to reduce school-related stress and help children feel understood and supported.
Trauma can also influence how children experience social interactions at school. Children who have been through difficult experiences may find it exhausting to navigate the unspoken social rules of different friendship groups. Even children who seem socially confident on the surface may be experiencing significant pressure beneath, often described by advocates as the “coke bottle effect.” Recognising these hidden stresses is crucial, as social exhaustion can contribute to increasing school avoidance if left unaddressed.
It is important to remember that school refusal is rarely caused by a single factor. Many children experience a combination of influences, including sensory sensitivities, anxiety, previous negative experiences, or undiagnosed neurodivergence, alongside trauma. Betsy encourages parents and carers to look at the bigger picture, gathering information from teachers, therapists, and specialists to better understand what might be driving a child’s reluctance to attend school.
Awareness and preparation are vital in supporting children who are struggling. Small, consistent steps to create a sense of safety, predictability, and choice can make a significant difference in helping children engage with school again. Betsy highlights practical strategies such as structured routines, clear communication between home and school, and gradually reintroducing school attendance in ways that respect the child’s emotional needs.
In support of School Avoidance Awareness Week, Sunshine Support is hosting a webinar on Wednesday, 17 September. Betsy will be sharing insights on school avoidance, the role trauma can play, and practical strategies for supporting children through these challenging experiences. This session is designed for parents, carers, and professionals alike, offering guidance, reassurance, and the chance to hear from an expert in the field.
School avoidance is not simply a phase or a behavioural issue. With the right understanding, support, and strategies, children can feel safer, more confident, and more able to engage with their learning. Betsy’s work highlights the importance of compassionate, informed approaches to help every child navigate their educational journey with the care and understanding they need.
